Alright, let's get this straight. Xpeng, the Chinese EV maker, is promising robotaxis next year? And humanoid robots? Didn't we learn anything from Boston Dynamics' parkour robots that are cool for, like, five minutes before you realize they're just expensive toys?
Robotaxis: Another False Dawn?
So Xpeng is suddenly all-in on robotaxis, huh? Just last year, their co-president Brian Gu was all like, "Nah, not a real business anytime soon." Now? Now he's saying the "tech is happening faster than we anticipated." Give me a break.
What changed? Did they suddenly discover some magical AI sauce? Or is this just another desperate attempt to chase Tesla's shadow?
They're bragging about their self-developed "Turing" AI chips, claiming they have the "highest in-car computing power in the world." 3,000 TOPS, whatever that means to a normal human being. It's like saying your new toaster has "quad-core hyperthreading technology." Cool, but does it make better toast? I doubt it.
And Alibaba's AutoNavi is partnering with them? So now my self-driving car will be brought to you by the same folks who sell me questionable electronics and knock-off sneakers? Wonderful.
Xpeng's planning to test these things in Guangzhou. Great. Let's unleash a bunch of unproven robotaxis on already chaotic Chinese streets. What could possibly go wrong?
I mean, sure, Gu says robotaxis will "ultimately be a global phenomenon." Ultimately? Maybe. But "ultimately" could be 50 years from now, for all we know.
And let's be real, the whole "two categories of cars" thing—one for commercial use, one for families—sounds like they're trying to cover all their bases. Like they don't actually know what they're doing, but they want to sound like they have a plan.
Humanoid Robots: Because Why Not?
Oh, and they unveiled a new humanoid robot, too. Offcourse. Because electric cars and self-driving taxis weren't enough, now they want to build Skynet.
I'm sure it's very impressive, with all sorts of fancy sensors and AI algorithms. But what's it for? Is it going to do my laundry? Mow my lawn? Or is it just another expensive, overhyped gadget that will end up collecting dust in some corporate showroom?
And all this tech relies on AI models that take in visual cues. This VLA model… sounds complicated. It's all supposed to help with driverless cars and robotics. But what if the AI misinterprets something? What if it sees a shadow and thinks it's a pedestrian? Or mistakes a stop sign for an advertisement?
Then again, maybe I'm just being cynical. Maybe Xpeng really is on the verge of revolutionizing transportation and robotics. Maybe. But I've seen too many tech companies promise the moon and deliver… well, not the moon. More like a handful of space dust. According to Chinese EV maker Xpeng to launch robotaxis, humanoid robots with self-developed AI chips, Xpeng is planning to launch these initiatives with their own AI chips.
This Ain't Progress, It's Just More Hype
It's the same old story: Overpromise, underdeliver, and hope nobody notices the difference.